Expensive Shit™

Catalogue of expensive habits and cheap fetishism.
You have assimilated into the human race by way of observing 1960s Italian movies and earthly humans on weekends. The nanoreactive creator onboard your craft fashioned a human body for your sidereal formless self. Now for the practicality of clothing in this host body: you have yourself ported down to Manhattan at night where you stealthily break through the feeble locking mechanisms in select Soho shops and clothe yourself. The torso garment of choice is a cashmere/silk strap sweater by Unconditional. You find the strap to be a useful tool in order to show or conceal your torso scruff depending on situations when you must lure another being via the wiles of human sexuality. You feel prepared to infiltrate and free the brethren that are still locked away deep within Ameroeuro complexes. They all thought in 2012 a portal would open and a new era of visitation would begin. Little did they know the visitations have occurred for thousands of years and the date of singularity is really the prophecy of freeing the brethren from the neo-masonic canopic prisons of the Supreme Golden Order Of The Illuminati. Unconditional cashmere/silk strap sweater, US$ 224.- from Oak

You have assimilated into the human race by way of observing 1960s Italian movies and earthly humans on weekends. The nanoreactive creator onboard your craft fashioned a human body for your sidereal formless self. Now for the practicality of clothing in this host body: you have yourself ported down to Manhattan at night where you stealthily break through the feeble locking mechanisms in select Soho shops and clothe yourself. The torso garment of choice is a cashmere/silk strap sweater by Unconditional. You find the strap to be a useful tool in order to show or conceal your torso scruff depending on situations when you must lure another being via the wiles of human sexuality. You feel prepared to infiltrate and free the brethren that are still locked away deep within Ameroeuro complexes. They all thought in 2012 a portal would open and a new era of visitation would begin. Little did they know the visitations have occurred for thousands of years and the date of singularity is really the prophecy of freeing the brethren from the neo-masonic canopic prisons of the Supreme Golden Order Of The Illuminati. Unconditional cashmere/silk strap sweater, US$ 224.- from Oak

You couldn’t find the obscure French Eowave guitar pedals in Pigalle that you were sent to locate so you decided to take the métro to Pyramides and look for all things Triangular. While you see the signs everywhere in the world you are peaked upon picking up a copy of Japanese Mens Non-No Magazine while your wife gets sucked into a Totoro vortex at the Japanese bookstore. Casually flipping your interest suddenly becomes peaked. Yes, it is a t-shirt. Yes, it has a triangle. Yes, it has a double-neck lap-steel guitar. Perfection? Perhaps it’s the moment of playing the instrument or is it the triangle? Really it’s the small things in life – a nicely fitted cotton tee and even the tone of a pre-WW2 magnet in the pickup of a vintage lap-steel guitar. This may be it, or at least a step towards the truth in unlocking certain mysteries of universal architecture. Perfection t−shirt by Tass Standard. ¥ 8,925

You couldn’t find the obscure French Eowave guitar pedals in Pigalle that you were sent to locate so you decided to take the métro to Pyramides and look for all things Triangular. While you see the signs everywhere in the world you are peaked upon picking up a copy of Japanese Mens Non-No Magazine while your wife gets sucked into a Totoro vortex at the Japanese bookstore. Casually flipping your interest suddenly becomes peaked. Yes, it is a t-shirt. Yes, it has a triangle. Yes, it has a double-neck lap-steel guitar. Perfection? Perhaps it’s the moment of playing the instrument or is it the triangle? Really it’s the small things in life – a nicely fitted cotton tee and even the tone of a pre-WW2 magnet in the pickup of a vintage lap-steel guitar. This may be it, or at least a step towards the truth in unlocking certain mysteries of universal architecture. Perfection t−shirt by Tass Standard. ¥ 8,925

Nothing but envy in her eyes: she can cause exclusive contracts to fail and steal my secret lovers, but she can’t send a Countach off the road. I look so sharp in my Givenchy funeral outfit, mourning the untimely death of my beloved Giovanni, 103 kg of ragù alla barese wrapped in chest hair, Incotex and Armani, head of a Milanese family textile business which will be mine as soon as the priest is finished. With a final icy glance, I feel inside my handbag for the silver symbolic relic wrapped in the Erès bra I found under the bed, of which the owner was surrendered by the clairvoyant housekeeper. Atelier 11 car necklace, silver, € 183.-

Nothing but envy in her eyes: she can cause exclusive contracts to fail and steal my secret lovers, but she can’t send a Countach off the road. I look so sharp in my Givenchy funeral outfit, mourning the untimely death of my beloved Giovanni, 103 kg of ragù alla barese wrapped in chest hair, Incotex and Armani, head of a Milanese family textile business which will be mine as soon as the priest is finished. With a final icy glance, I feel inside my handbag for the silver symbolic relic wrapped in the Erès bra I found under the bed, of which the owner was surrendered by the clairvoyant housekeeper. Atelier 11 car necklace, silver, € 183.-

The auto-corps didn’t get their bailout in Americaland and they are crying “foul” as the stockbrokers gently weep since their virtual betting reality game is not in good shape. They should have invested in purchasing Nintendo Wiis instead and resold them to desperate ex-drinkers who have now holed up in their tiny NYC apartments. But alas, things could get worse but the well groomed british gentleman and shrewd businessman/investor in all things ingenious needs to make choices. The cheap two-star hotel chain in London and Paris may have to go in order to purchase an escape mechanism as the ripples of “Capitalism… Oops!” may extend over the seas to the Queen. Here on eBay this past December came The Aerocar. The Aerocar is the only vehicle ever officially certified for both flight and operation on long and winding roads. It was once flown to Cuba where Fidel Castro’s brother, Raul, apparently took the controls. It is told that during this flight they ran out of gas and had to land roughly on a country road. But the well-dressed gent will make sure he does his calculations before hitting the skies. His pocket-watch is set and his attaché well stocked with a map, sextant, compass and MUJI pencils all neatly placed in their respective compartments. The time is now for versatility and recycled vehicles with the courage to take on land and sky. eBay Motors: Aerocar N103D Flying Plane Car, Built in 1956 by American Molt Taylor, £ 2.3 million from eBay. More photos here.

The auto-corps didn’t get their bailout in Americaland and they are crying “foul” as the stockbrokers gently weep since their virtual betting reality game is not in good shape. They should have invested in purchasing Nintendo Wiis instead and resold them to desperate ex-drinkers who have now holed up in their tiny NYC apartments. But alas, things could get worse but the well groomed british gentleman and shrewd businessman/investor in all things ingenious needs to make choices. The cheap two-star hotel chain in London and Paris may have to go in order to purchase an escape mechanism as the ripples of “Capitalism… Oops!” may extend over the seas to the Queen. Here on eBay this past December came The Aerocar. The Aerocar is the only vehicle ever officially certified for both flight and operation on long and winding roads. It was once flown to Cuba where Fidel Castro’s brother, Raul, apparently took the controls. It is told that during this flight they ran out of gas and had to land roughly on a country road. But the well-dressed gent will make sure he does his calculations before hitting the skies. His pocket-watch is set and his attaché well stocked with a map, sextant, compass and MUJI pencils all neatly placed in their respective compartments. The time is now for versatility and recycled vehicles with the courage to take on land and sky. eBay Motors: Aerocar N103D Flying Plane Car, Built in 1956 by American Molt Taylor, £ 2.3 million from eBay. More photos here.

2008 nightclubs aren’t what you thought they would be. Your childhood memories of mulling over Neco’s Star Wars + Other Galactic Funk record and John Williams soundtracks led you to believe that things would be different. Maybe there wouldn’t be aliens, but at least you thought the denizens would be all wearing wrap around Maison Margiela shades and tube-dresses while bopping to disco-music played by cyborg post-fusion techno midi-saxophonists and DJs spinning with clear pyramids that hold music and holograms inside. Alas, you grew up to find the truth that it’s all just New Casino’s and Cabrons wistfully dreaming of late night chèvre sandwiches to relax the overpriced alcohol induced sea-sickness. The floors aren’t chrome and lights aren’t making 3d rendered statues of Hammurabi while amazing synthesized space-disco beats bump into the morning hours. However, now you can get yourself excited at your favorite club by frequent trips to the bathroom mirror to ogle at your Tigersushi Dirty Space Disco Sleeve T-Shirt, € 40.- Neon lights may pass but dreams of a true futuristic future will always last. Design by Elisabeth Arkhipoff.

2008 nightclubs aren’t what you thought they would be. Your childhood memories of mulling over Neco’s Star Wars + Other Galactic Funk record and John Williams soundtracks led you to believe that things would be different. Maybe there wouldn’t be aliens, but at least you thought the denizens would be all wearing wrap around Maison Margiela shades and tube-dresses while bopping to disco-music played by cyborg post-fusion techno midi-saxophonists and DJs spinning with clear pyramids that hold music and holograms inside. Alas, you grew up to find the truth that it’s all just New Casino’s and Cabrons wistfully dreaming of late night chèvre sandwiches to relax the overpriced alcohol induced sea-sickness. The floors aren’t chrome and lights aren’t making 3d rendered statues of Hammurabi while amazing synthesized space-disco beats bump into the morning hours. However, now you can get yourself excited at your favorite club by frequent trips to the bathroom mirror to ogle at your Tigersushi Dirty Space Disco Sleeve T-Shirt, € 40.- Neon lights may pass but dreams of a true futuristic future will always last. Design by Elisabeth Arkhipoff.